Dilbert: Management Consultant From The Afterlife

The Boss: “Technically, I was dead for a week. But I was evicted from the afterlife and had to come back. The afterlife has a lot to teach us about Management. I brought home a consultant.”

Dilbert: “I might be late with my status report.”

The Boss: “Do you know what locusts taste like?”

The Boss: “Helen, we’re looking for a new Ombudsman. Your experience in the afterlife makes you an ideal candidate.”

Helen Fry: “I’ll take the job. But call me Mrs. Fry.”

Asok: “I have an issue with Management.”

The Boss: “Go to Helen Fry.”

The New Ombudsman

Asok: “How can you be impartial in my dispute with Management when they are the ones paying you?”

Helen Fry: “Perhaps you have something of value that would allow me to see your side.”

Wally: “He’s creepy without his soul, but I envy his carefree attitude.”

Asok: “Our Ombudsman took my soul in exchange for a favorable view. I’d like a transfer to Marketing, where having no soul is widely considered an asset.”

“I need someone who can make our product sound competitive without vomiting on his own copy.”

Asok: “Ooh! Ooh!”

Asok Lost His Soul

Asok: “We can improve our Google search ranking with key words, inbound links and ritual sacrifice of a… I think it’s down to you and me.”

“What are you implying?”

Asok: “The word on the street is that you can help me get my soul back.”

Garbage Man: “Souls are totally fungible. Use this Shamwow to absorb someone else’s soul while you suck on the other end.”

Asok: “Why does this suddenly seem so wrong?” Slurp